Tea Party Envy

So, why is it that the national Tea Parties have not requested my services? What will it take to get their attention?
Ah ha, I've got it--publicity! Oh, but the drive-by's are ignoring it. Hummm... certainly there is a nationally-acclaimed, highly-rated cable news network that could send out a roving Tea Party Patrol to cover these well-attended parties. Then, maybe then, my services would be called upon.

Can someone hook a prompter up? Please?